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Shove It, World

Where do I even begin?

I am extremely frustrated and my health is getting worse all the time.

On top of the fact that my health is too poor to even wash myself or make it to the doctor, I am tired of being let down by those who are supposed to take care of me.

I feel that the majority of health practitioners of any sort are very behind the times on the latest in post-traumatic research and therapies. I feel like (nearly) everyone is a self-serving ninny, and how the fuck am I to trust any of them with what has already been fucked beyond recognition?

I'm tired. I'm tired of people. I'm tired of feeling old and sick all of the time. I'm tired of not even remembering much of who I am anymore.

I'm tired of being laughed at, mocked and insulted by these supposed professionals.

And let's not forget sexually harassed and otherwise made to feel very uncomfortable by extremely weird, sexist, unprofessional and inappropriate comments. It's gotten to the point that I flat out refuse to see male practitioners of any kind, and I hate that, because that makes it even harder to find non-ignorant practitioners, if I am chopping out half of them, since I can't trust the majority of the male population, even in professional situations to just fucking be decent to me. Fuck! I hate society.

I'm tired of my physical health being ignored because I have a mental health problem, which, by the way, IS A PHYSICAL HEALTH PROBLEM, as YOUR BRAIN IS A BODY PART, and if something's gone wrong with it, that is within the realm of neurology, and not me making up problems because I want attention. Also, you're a cunt.

Lately, I don't want attention at all. I don't want people at all. I know I normally would, as I am a social person and love my friends, but right now, I am absolutely sick to death of people and their failings or probable soon to be failings. I've got enough on my plate without having to deal with other people's problems right now, on top of the world fucking falling apart. You're all a bunch of fucking animals. Stop shooting each other and putting refugees in prison camps. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why is an orange reality TV clown running for president at all? It's a fucking joke. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

I'm sick and fucking tired of being let down by people who are supposed to be in charge. I'm sick of cops, I'm sick of doctors, I hate the government, and I hate my fucking parents. Everything is a fucking clown rodeo tire fire, and I hold it together as best as I can, and just be nice, despite what my body is doing and what I know and have been through, and people have THE FUCKING NERVE to be assholes to me?

Well, guess where you can shove it, world.

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June 2016
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